1988: The Dreadful Druid part V: The Doctor Is Out!

By Jef Willemsen (clarmindcontrol.blogspot.com)

The Avengers were rapidly approaching their 300th issue, but thanks to their new chairman ánd their new writer they wouldn't be around to enjoy that special anniversary. Leave it to Walt Simonson and Doctor Druid to take Earth's mightiest right over the edge...

The beginning of the end

Frankly, it's not like it was that hard to do. Simonson made sure the team suffered a steady stream of tragedies ever since he came on board back in #291. As a result, the number of Avengers left on active duty had been reduced to four: Thor, She Hulk, a severely handicapped Black Knight and their new leader Druid, who'd used his mental powers to convince the others he'd be best suited to take the reigns when Walt almost had Monica Rambeau die of sheer incompetence.

"In this moment of crisis, I see the fury of Dr. Druid unleashed!" 

To be fair, Doctor Druid is never written as either an outright villain or an infiltrator out to destroy the team from the inside. Instead, and that's the truly tragic part of this whole enterprise, he genuinely believes his cause is just. In no small part because of a series of prophetic visions in which a gorgeous blonde woman adoringly assures him he's the last, best hope of all that is. All that praise and adulation feeds Druid's sizable ego. He falls for her charms even as she eggs him on to do what's right and he feels that includes making sure he's leading the Avengers when the fat hits the fire.

But, just who is this blonde lady? Well, that takes some 'splainin...

"But... you look different somehow..." 

Why is she blue and dressed like Kang?

And here's where Simonson lost me when I first read these issues in the late 80s. Try and follow along: Time travel invariably leads to the creation of alternate timelines and time travelers like Kang the Conqueror have hundreds, if not thousands of rogue copies of themselves navigating the timestream. Invariably, some of these alternate Kangs get defeated or killed by others who don the armor and effectively become a version of Kang. Eventually, a fair number of these Kangs met up and formed an organisation called the Council of Crosstime Kangs. One of the latest Kangs admitted to the council was a female who claimed to be Nebula, the alleged granddaughter of Thanos. For convenience's sake, let's call her "Nebula Kang" for now.

With me so far? Good.

During her time on the Council, Nebula Kang learned that roughly 20 years in the future a period of 15 years was covered by an impenetrable Time Bubble. The Council believed a Celestial was building a superweapon inside it, which was all the power hungry Nebula Kang needed to hear. She wanted that weapon. Bad.

And that's where the Avengers come in. The Kangs also observed that eventually a team of Avengers would penetrate the bubble. Nebula Kang then figured she had to control the heroes and, rather logically, decided that the mind bending Doctor Druid would be an ideal stooge.

You're still with me? Well, that makes one of us.

All kidding aside, it gets even more complex when ultimately it is revealed Nebula Kang isn't *that* Nebula at all. It's actually an alternate version of Ravonna Lexus Renslayer, the princess that Kang tried to court back in a 1966 issue of Avengers. She first refused his love because he'd invaded her father's kingdom but soon realized she loved his raw machismo after all. She wound up sacrificing her life to save his in Avengers I#24.

"Perhaps... ' twas never meant... to be...!" 

Oh Ravonna, if only the same could be said for this storyline... 

Through the continued visions, Ravonna had Druid firmly in her grasp as she groomed him to have the Avengers enter the Time Bubble. An added wrinkle to her whole plan was the fact that she never bothered to learn which Avengers were actually destined to enter the Time Bubble. Even by 1988, there were close to 30 members, odds are you get the wrong bunch or even the wrong team. After all, you also had the West Coast Avengers by then. The odds don't favor this particular anemic East Coast line-up. And things get trickier when Ravonna wanted to get rid of Thor because Druid had proved unable to mentally coerce him.

That's why she planned for him to have a little "accident" in Avengers I#295. Using the Council's temporal technology, she captured a weaponized, technological T-Rex from an alternative future and set it loose on Washington D.C. She then made sure Dr. Druid knew about it.

"Less and less do I trust Druid's supposed psychic powers." 

When you're part of a team designed to come together to fight the threats too big for anyone to face alone... Yet your leader insists you go solo anyway, despite the fact it was serious enough for him to have a vision over, you know you're in trouble. And Thor did indeed have a devil of a time against the mechanized monstrosity. Especially when it proved more sturdy than expected. 

"AKREEEE!" 

On a sidenote, yours truly initially believed this metal monster was Walt Simonson's way of spoofing Robosaurus, the fire breathing star of many a monster truck rally. However, Avengers I#295 predates the debut of the actual Robosaurus by about 6 months. Chances are the dinosaurs loving creator might have slightly been inspired by Grimlock, the similarly shaped and mannered Dinobots leader from the Transformers cartoon. 

At any rate, while Thor fights for his life, She Hulk figures the others need to fly out and help him. But Druid has a unique way to make sure she follows the leader.

"You want to listen to me. Believe me Jennifer, this is all for the best." 

It gets worse.

"Relax Dane! We shall save the universe! Whether you want to or not.
The Avengers are mine!" 

Admittedly, that looks bad. But Druid really wasn't himself by this point. Essentially Nebula's puppet, he did all he could to please his beloved. So, when the Knight actually managed to launch the Quinjet and escape Druid's mental sway, she was less than pleased. Black Knight traveled to DC and helped Thor defeat the digi-dinosaur by ripping it beyond repair with his ebony blade. The two Avengers then headed back to Hydrobase to take down Doctor Druid. 

One Asgardian thundergod and an armored knight with a mystical blade versus a paunchy soothsayer in a bedsheet... Ya'd think, right?

" When they  awaken, they will be real Avengers at last.
Completely obedient!" 

By then, "Nebula" had fully manifested herself in the timeline, which only served to further cement her control over Druid. She even supplied him with "mindbenders", devices that added even more mind control. While She-Hulk and Black Knight were kept in check with one, Thor turned out to need three. Even though everyone was in their thrall, Druid and "Nebula" insisted on keeping things as regular as possible.

"YOU, my slaves, you are the key."

And so they were, as issue #297 proved. "Nebula" had Druid and his Avengers board a Quinjet prepared for interdimensional travel and away they went. But as soon as they approached the Time Bubble and there weren't any easy ways in, questions and doubt set in. All Nebula knew was that only Avengers were destined to enter the bubble. Since she wasn't an official member, she bet on that technicality and had Druid orchestrate the quickest signing in ceremony in the team's history....

"Beloved, that's it! Dane's future is a void!"

And. after using his not too reliable precognitive powers, Druid mystically concluded Black Knight was the one without a future. You'd think that even Nebula would have questioned his foresight after he failed to foresee minor hick-up like, say, a teammate's wife turning into a giant sea serpent snacking on ships.

But no, Druid went ahead and mentally coerced his teammates to toss Dane out the Quinjet airlock as they were cruising right outside the time bubble. The Black Knight was rescued by a couple of Crosstime Kangs who were following their wayward member. Those Kangs used a handy gizmo to free Thor from his mindbenders. The Asgardian attacked, which soon led to She-Hulk freeing herself as well.

That all led to this regrettably unforgettable confrontation.

"Doc, thou just hast to be kidding!"

Right around that time, the Time Bubble is approached by a near infinite number of alternate Avengers quinjets from a myriad of realities. They're all desperate to pierce the barrier and this particular assemblage of heroes falls short. That's why as soon as the bubble opens, "Nebula" makes a run for it.

The lovesick Dr. Druid can do nothing but follow suit.

"Beloved!"

And with that, the era of Dr. Druid reached its end in November of 1988. He apparently vanished inside the Time Bubble. Now free of his mental domination, the three Avengers returned home to Hydrobase. Thoroughly demoralized and sickened by what happened to them, She-Hulk quit the team. Thor and Black Knight made an off panel attempt to find new members but readily give up as soon as no reservists or fresh recruits appear available. 

"I can't believe they've all gone."

But gone they were, only for Steve Rogers to show up an issue or so before #300 to assemble a new team. Just like Gruenwald had wanted Roger Stern to do before all the unpleasantness began. The new Cap-centric lineup came together during the Inferno crossover and of course included Thor. The other roster picks were a bit more... eccentric. Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Woman joined, though they never even bothered to change out of their FF costumes. Another new recruit was the aptly named Forgotten One, an obscure character from Jack Kirby's late 1970s Eternals series. That couldn't have been the big plan Mark Gruenwald had in mind, could it?

And as for Doctor Druid... Considering what he'd done, it's surprising the Avengers didn't revoke his membership or voted him out in absentia. Then again, the entire east coast branch of the team was in absentia. Druid was left in comics limbo for close to two years until Roy and Dann Thomas came by to rescue him from obscurity in October 1990's Avengers Spotlight I#37. They decided to make ol' Druid a hero for the 90s.

"The reincarnation of Doctor Druid"

In a dutifully crafted but too dull to fully recap, the Thomases reveal Druid and "Nebula" have been surviving in a small, paradise like pocket of the Time Bubble, blissfully unaware of who or what they were until Druid's psychic powers ultimately reminds him of his past deeds. That leads to pages of poorly colored flashbacks, a fight with Nebula involving anti-time, a visit to 1961, a slight retooling of his origin to make him an official precursor to Doctor Strange, more meandering mystical mumbo jumbo before we end up with a rejuvenated Druid and a bad pun.

"Who knows, maybe this time I'll even keep my hair!"

Well Doc, there's good news and bad news. Yes, you'll hang on to your hair and you're even going to lead another team of heroes Roy & Dann Thomas salvaged Druid to make him the leader of the shortlived Secret Defenders series. However, after that book folded, Warren Ellis took note of the character so by the Summer of 1995, Druid's body would be burning in a dumpster, courtesy of Ellis' extreme take on Daimon Hellstrom. No worries, Anthony got better. Remember, he's a doctor ánd a druid. 

Just not a very good one. 

1989 - Anatomy of a Cover - Marvel Fanfare #48 by Kerry Gammill and Jose Marzan Jr.

1989 - Anatomy of a cover - Marvel Age #76 by John Byrne

1983 - Anatomy of a Cover - Incredible Hulk #282 by Al Milgrom and Joe Sinnott

1980 - Anatomy of a Cover - She-Hulk #13 by Mike Vosburg

Eighties August 8 part I: Best Debuts Of The 1980s

By Jef Willemsen (clarmindcontrol.blogspot.com)

With only eight days left til the end of August, yours truly figured a fitting way to count down to the fall season would be through various 1980s related top 8 lists. So for the next 8 days, we'll be covering a variety of Marvel Comics related topics. From best 80s writer and artist to best moments and more. In this initial entry, we'll start things off with the best debuts of the decade*.

8) - HYDRO-MAN (Debut: Amazing Spider-Man I#212, January 1981)

Now hear me out... Spider-Man has very few enduring, thriving villains that Stan Lee and Steve Ditko did not create. Most of the wallcrawler's band of baddies hail from the 1960s. The haul from the 1970s is pretty forgettable and nowadays most of them are treated like throwaway joke characters (I'm looking at you Stegron, Mindworm and Big Wheel). Not so much with Morris "Morrie" Bench, created by Dennis O'Neill and John Romita Jr. In many ways, his is a classic Marvel origin: a not too smart guy accidentally gets his powers and goes on a rampage.

Bench initially blamed Spider-Man for being turned into a living being of water (guess no one told him he was made of about 70 percent fluid to begin with) and hunted him through sewer drains and water spouts until he was finally defeated. After he got merged with the Sandman for a while (in one of those classic "it hadda happen!" encounters), he expanded his horizons and became a mercenary for hire. After joining the Sinister Syndicate, the Masters of Evil and even the Frightful Four, Hydro Man has become a Marvel mainstay with a great, versatile set of powers but not enough brain juice to fully exploit them... No worries Morrie, the Absorbing Man, the Wrecker and your old frenemy Sandman have the same problem.

7) - GARGOYLE (Debut: Defenders I#94, April 1981)

Leave it to J.M. DeMatteis to think out of the box. Still a relatively new writer when he took over the long running Defenders title in the early 80s, DeMatteis envisioned a storyline that pitted the oddball band of heroes against the cabal of demons known as the Six Fingered Hand. One of their servants was a ghastly looking demon calling himself Gargoyle. However, beneath the monstrous appearance was Isaac Christiansen, the kindly, geriatic mayor of Christiansboro who made a deal with the devils in hopes of restoring 'his' city to its former glory.

In a surprise twist, Gargoyle joined the Defenders and stayed on even after he helped them defeat the demonic threat. Over the years, he became a mainstay of the team and one of its most recognizable members. DeMatteis and his (New) Defenders successor Peter B. Gillis fleshed out Isaac, making him both a tragic and a likeable character. He even became romantically involved with the Defenders' housekeeper Dolly Donahue.

Gargoyle proved popular enough that Marvel okayed a limited series, written by J.M. DeMatteis in 1985. The four issue series proved to be a deeply psychological tale, examining the depths of Isaac's psyche and the terrible guilt issues he struggled with.

Back in early 2013, while covering the Six Fingered Hand storyline for this blog, I had the pleasure of interviewing Mr. DeMatteis. He had the following to say about Gargoyle: "As the storyline progressed, Gargoyle became more and more important to the team. I loved that character; in fact the Gargoyle mini-series I did with Mark Badger remains one of my favorite projects out of all the stories I've done for mainstream Marvel. "

6) - SHE-HULK (Debut: Savage She-Hulk I#1, February 1980)

Speaking of characters already covered extensively on this blog... It's Bruce Banner's cousin Jennifer Walters who occupies the 6th place on this particular ranking. Considering the She-Hulk was such a vital part of Marvel throughout the 1980s, she really should be in the top three... But this list is all about the way characters made their debut... And Savage She-Hulk was a pretty rough one.

Initially created solely to prevent other companies from copyrighting a female Hulk-type character, She-Hulk spent most of her first solo book semi-mindlessly stomping about, chewing scenery and fighting villains so forgettable I can't even remember them after researching most of 'em. In the end, it took creators like Roger Stern and John Byrne to give Jennifer her proper due, giving her a sense of humor, membership in both the Fantastic Four and the Avengers, not to mention the ability to string together more than two coherent sentences.

5) - APOCALYPSE (Debut: X-Factor I#5, June 1986)

Nowadays En Sabah Nur is one of the most recognized X-Men villains, next to Magneto and Mr. Sinister. But did you know that in his debut, he was "merely" the shadowy mastermind responsible for organizing the Alliance Of Evil? The who? Oh, erm... a semi-thinly veiled Brotherhood of Evil Mutants rip off that X-Factor fought during their first few issues.

X-Factor's original scribe Bob Layton intended to reveal that the Alliance's secret leader was actually the old Daredevil villain the Owl, but incoming writer Louise Simonson dreamed up another, arguably better, idea for the character. Who Apocalypse eventually became is a far cry from what he started out to be, though every legend has to start somewhere which is more than enough to warrant him a spot on this list.

4) - WHITE QUEEN (Debut: Uncanny X-Men I#131, March 1980)

Unlike their Distinguished Competitors down the street, Marvel never had that many enduring female supervillains. For every Enchantress, Viper, Umar and Moonstone over the years there were dozens of masculine menaces. Heck, Karla Sofen didn't even gain her powers until she stole the alien gem from the original, male Moonstone. Chris Claremont, always a proponent of strong female characters, did his best to change that status quo. He created Mystique and Deathbird in the late 70s Ms. Marvel title and continued that trend in Uncanny X-men. Well before he introduced such (fe)menaces as Rogue, Dark Phoenix and the Goblin Queen... there was Emma Frost, the White Queen.

An imposing, seductive telepath not afraid to use both her sexuality and powers to get her way, Emma was a character that pushed the bounds of the Comics Code Authority. And let's not forget the outrageous way she dresses. Chances are, that isn't fake fur.

Frost is in many ways a quintessential Chris Claremont creation. Dressed in leather, favoring an S&M type style of both clothing and villainy, not to mention her telepathic prowess which allows for mind control. Even though Emma Frost has more or less been on the side of the angels for over two (!) decades now, for most of the 80s she was an unavoidable thorn in the X-Men's side.

3) - VENOM (Debut: Amazing Spider-Man I#299, April 1988)

So much has been said about Venom, that most of what I could add would be superfluous at best. A legacy character of 1984's first Secret Wars when Spider-Man returned with a new costume that turned out to be a living symbiont out to bond (mate) with him, the Venom entity eventually merged with defamed reporter Eddie Brock who openly accepted the alien creature's overtures. Together, as Venom, they became the anti-Spider-Man decades before a seemingly unending torrent of tales turned Eddie into Anti-Venom.

Still, the original Todd McFarlane design remains an instant classic. Spider-Man's black costume was far more imposing than his original red & blue PJ's but between Venom's weird, warped eyes and the alligator like maw, he became a true nightmare. 1990's Amazing Spider-Man I#316 & 317 scared the heck out of the then 8 year old me.

2) - BETA RAY BILL (Debut: Thor I#337, November 1983)

What's the best way to make your mark on a decades old book? Walter Simonson answered that question on the very cover of his first Thor issue. #337 introduced Beta Ray Bill, the horse faced alien who proved noble enough to lift Thor's hammer and transforming into an Asgardian storm god as well. Bill eventually curried Odin's favor and received Stormbreaker, an elemental hammer forged by the dwarves that once crafted Thor's mallet.

Seeing an imposing, unlikeable and possibly evil looking alien pick up Mjolnir must have been a big shock at the time. Beta Ray has since proved himself a valued ally to both Asgard and Midgard... Even serving with Canada's ill fated government team Omega Flight. Now thát's commitment.

1) - CAPTAIN MARVEL (Debut: Amazing Spider-Man Annual I#16, 1982)

Oh Captain, my Captain!

If ever there's a character more symbolic of the 1980s, it has to be Monica Rambeau, the second person to carry the name "Captain Marvel". Only a few months prior to her debut, the first C.M., rogue Kree officer Mar-Vell, had succumbed to cancer... And here was New Orleans born Monica ready to take the superhero world by storm.

Her creator Roger Stern very unapologetically took Ms. Rambeau under his wing. Not only did he write her first appearance, he also didn't miss a beat bringing her to the Avengers, a book he happened to be writing at the time. Rambeau was admitted to Earth's mightiest as a trainee, she learned to use her magnificently broad energy spectrum based abilities over the course of several years, fighting menaces like the Enclave, the Beyonder, Kang and two incarnations of the Masters of Evil. She even proved capable of calling the continuously quarreling Hercules and Sub-Mariner to order.

Rambeau grew, evolving from an unsure recruit to a more than competent full fledged member... Eventually, she was even elected Avengers chairman with the support and blessing of charter members like Captain America and the Wasp.

Of course, comics being the way they are, higher ups at Marvel eventually decided it would be best if Captain America resumed command of the team, in order to increase his standing as a solo property. Stern was asked to start writing Monica as an imcompetent leader, thereby facilitating the desired change. Roger refused however and quit, forcing both Ralph Macchio and new, incoming writer Walter Simonson to get rid of Captain Marvel. Monica has languished in Limbo for close to two decades, mostly relegated to crowd scenes and fill in appearances. But for a fair chunk of the 1980s she shined.


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*Naturally, these picks are solely based on my own, anything but unbiased preferences. Think I'm wrong or an absolute idjit for leaving out your particular fave? By all means, join the conversation!

1981 - Anatomy of a Cover - She-Hulk #20

By Mike Vosburg and Al Milgrom

http://www.romitaman.com/GalleryPiece.asp?Piece=17895&ArtistId=990

She-Hulk Graphic Novel Cover Reimagined by John Byrne

1989: Jade Jaunting Part VI: Saying Sayonara by way of Star Truck 'n Santa

By Jef Willemsen (clarmindcontrol.blogspot.com)

In the final part of Jade Jaunting, the 80s come to a close and so does John Byrne's stint as chronicler of She-Hulk's ground & fourth wall breaking series. But not before Shulkie went to outerspace to check in on that equally sensational character find of 1983: US Archer.

She-Hulk in outerspace? Sure, why not...

Issue #6 opened with Jennifer Walters as a special guest at NASA during the launch of the first space shuttle built with a faster than light (FTL) drive, allowing it to travel across the stars. Cheekily admitting her reason for being there was a bit of a stretch, she proceeded to fill the readers in on what was going down. And speaking of stretches...

"Reed! It's been forever!"

Having two superheroes on hand was fortunate, because the giant rig Big Pig II came out of nowhere to cause trouble. While Mr. Fantastic got the civilians to safety, Shulkie tried to stop whoever was behind the wheel only to discover it was being piloted by remote control. Before she could properly process this twist, the FTL shuttle launched and it became clear the Big Pig had been little more than a diversion.

Using Reed's elastic body as a giant trampoline, She-Hulk jumped after the shuttle and managed to grab hold of the tailend of the booster rocket, barely managing to resist the harsh conditions as she climbed up towards the shuttle itself. Eventually, she found an airlock but Jennifer's time and oxygen were running low...

"Looks like my book turns out to be a mini-series after all"

After coming to, she found who her rescuers and the shuttle hijackers were: the trucker turned superhero Razorback and Taryn O'Connell, a lady trucker with an interesting past. Taryn had been the love interest of Ulysses Archer. Better known as US Archer, he was a trucker who, after getting hurt in an accident, received a metal plate in his head that allowed him to pick up C.B (Citizen's Band) radio transmissions...

That, plus a souped up, semi-sentient truck, was all he needed to become a superhero of sorts. His 1983 soloseries lasted twelve issues and ended with aliens taking US and most of his supporting cast into space because what the cosmos needed most was good ol' American truckers hauling freight.

Taryn elected to stay behind, but as time went on, she found she missed her lover and wanted to join him in space. She figured Razorback would be the perfect hero to help her, not only because he was a fellow trucker, his newly discovered mutant ability to drive anything would allow him to pilot the shuttle.

Having Razorback be a mutant with the most mundane power imaginable was a decidedly tongue in cheek wink at Marvel's late 80s attempt to capitalize on the X-men's popularity by revealing lots of established characters as children of the atom. Having already activated the FTL engines, Razorback and Taryn pretty much forced She-Hulk to come along for the ride... and before long they hit up on the truckstop US used as his base of operations that had been taken into space as well. Run by Poppa Wheelie and rebranded the Star Stop, the place had become a popular pitstop. populated by a variety of interesting aliens...

"... and you're sure that's the... off-ramp we need?"

The Star Stop's Marvunapp entry contains a detailed list of the 'easter eggs' Byrne put into this scene. It's just a lot of goofy fun, even when Taryn realises U.S. had moved on, marrying her old rival Mary McGill who also happened to be having his baby. Speaking of US, people were getting a little worried because he was late returning from a delivery with Mary mere days from giving birth In the closing pages of #6, US and his space rig returned to the Star Stop, along with a most unwanted hitchhiker...

"I have no mouth and I am mean!*
(*with sincerest apologies to Harlan Ellison)

Continuing the tradition of pitting Shulkie against the lamest of the lame, Xemnu the Titan had come to kidnap US' unborn baby. Byrne played up Xemnu's original scheme: he was out to kidnap children to repopulate his own planet. But even infants proved too resistent to his indoctrination, that's why he decided to start his recruitment drive while they were still in the womb. 

It goes without saying Shulkie wasn't that big a fan of Xemnu's prenatal promo talk.

"We haven't had any good, senseless violence since I took on the Stilt-Man...
And that was three issues ago!"

However, She-Hulk fell prey to Xemnu's powerful hypnotic mind. Unconscious, she woke up to find that Xemnu's plan to turn the child in utero had failed. Instead, he had already moved on to plan B: if you can't steal a baby, why not go and make your own? Guess who was the lucky gal:

"Now YOU will become the bride of Xemnu!'

Poor She-Hulk... defeated not once but twice by a big teddybear who also tried to turn her into his equally furry bride. And to add to her woes: in the end she didn't even get to defeat the Titan herself. Shulkie was saved by a whole armada, all customers of the Star Stop who agreed to come to her aid. With a little help from Al the Alien and his wife, the She-Hulk received one heck of a Brazilian wax. Once rid of her excess fur, Al made sure she got home safely inher new flying car. 

In between issues # 7 and #8, the 1989 crossover Acts Of Vengeance kicked off. During this company wide event, a cabal of supervillains decided the best way to finally defeat their enemies would be to simply switch opponents. She-Hulk participated too, showing up in the second issue of the Damage Control limited series.

"C'mon guys! Hurry up! We're on page seven and we haven't even had a fight scene yet!"

When John Byrne started Sensational She-Hulk he expressly requested she only broke the fourth wall in her own book. Byrne reasoned that this would give the title a unique hook and the added exclusivity helped keep the gimmick fresh. Contrary to Byrne's request, the late great Dwayne McDuffie had her talk to the audience anyway... and with great success, after all Damage Control had always been a title that lent itself to inside jokes.

She-Hulk's presence in D.C. felt natural and she was more than happy to be there after learning what the crossover was about. After all, with the villains playing musical chairs, she just finally might get to fight some bad guys worthy of the name. Hey, it could happen... right?

Wrong.

"DeFalco!"

Hoping for Doctor Doom, Magneto or Hobgoblin she instead got stuck with disgruntled DC-employee Eugene and his partner Washington who couldn't decide what to call themselves. Switching fromSimon & Garfunkel, Hammer & Sickle, Cloak & Dagger or New & Improved, often changing their minds per panel, they actually managed to throw Shulkie for a bit of a loop.

In the end, She-Hulk begged Marvel editor in chief Tom DeFalco to treat her with a bit more respect, leading to a great one liner by Damage Control's cigar chompin' foreman Lenny.

"I wonder why She-Hulk keeps talking about DeFalco cigars?"

Still, She-Hulk's pleas to get her old writer back would prove prophetic, because issue 

8 of her solo book proved to be John Byrne's last. Released in December 1989, Shulkie closed out the decade by teaming up with the world's greatest detective. Greatest detective? You mean? No, not the Batman: *this* guy...

"You're kidding, right?"

Yeah, the She-Hulk got help from a womanizing, naughty, butt pinching Santa Clause to prove a crazed criminal was responsible for an unresolved murder. Shoving She-Hulk through chimneys, claiming he knew who was naughty and who was nice, Nick St. Christopher was utterly ridiculous and fun... But he got things done, charming the pants off Jennifer. That is, until his wife showed up to slap some sense into him. 

In an interview for Modern Masters, Byrne revealed his love for having Santa show up. He even got a kick out of the fact the fans got mad when he wrote him in, saying it only served as further incentive to include Clause as often as possible.

But his editor, Bobbie Chase, also wasn't a fan. Not just of Santa, but of Byrne on the book in general. After several months of growing frustrations, John Byrne simply decided to leave. And even though #9 was still promoted as 'just a fill in issue', people who could read between the lines already saw what was coming down the line. Also: people who read the obvious word pun in the following promo blurb:

And with that, She-Hulk's 80s adventures came to an end. Starting in 1990, Steve Gerber took over as regular writer, with a young Bryan Hitch on art. While certainly not the worst of Marvel's early 90s comics, Sensational She-Hulk lost its trademark fourth wall breaking charm and good natured ribbing of the genre. Gerber wrote 16 wacky, but hardly world shattering issues. When he bowed out in September of 1991, his replacement was... John Byrne? 

Yup, a few months before that, Renée Witterstaetter had succeeded Bobbie Chase as editor. After realising she had a better working relationship with Byrne, she managed to bring him back to the book he had started. The cover to #31 showed just how eager Byrne was to continue where he'd left off.

Maybe a bit too eager...

For the next 19 issues, Byrne continued his meta-joking shtick, exploring the boundaries of the genre while having embarassing baddies like Spragg the Living Hill, the Living Eraser and the Carbon Copy Men show up. Not to mention a band of zombified minor X-men characters called the X-Humed.

Another continued trend: having She-Hulk's enemies fall for her left and right. Xemnu was the first, but the Mole Man and Mahkizmo were also ready to make an honest woman out of the emerald giantess.

"What a revoling development this is!"

One could hardly blame the villains, after all Byrne made sure the stories were rife with blatant cheesecake shots of She-Hulk running around in the skimpiest of outfits... In one issue he even forced her to jump rope naked on the cover. All in a shameless attempt to both mock and cash in on the early 90s panting fanboy craze that warranted the publication of several high selling Marvel swimsuit specials...

Byrne left with #50, feeling he had told all the stories he had in him. The book continued under a new creative team who went for a slightly more serious tone. Sensational She-Hulk was cancelled within ten months after Byrne's departure. However, the legacy of this fourth wall breaking series was that the character would forever more be considered fun. Without Byrne's influence, the book would never have spawned Shulkie's critically acclaimed 2004 soloseries by Dan Slott...

And as for She-Hulk's new series launching in February 2014, it's pretty much a given it will be fun. But let's hope she gets to fight some decent baddies this time, eh?