1981: Marvel's Two Writing One part VII: The Kirby Crackle Conclusion

By Jef Willemsen (clarmindcontrol.blogspot.com)

In the seventh and final part of this retrospective, Ralph Macchio and Mark Gruenwald bring it all back home... If you live in Attilan, on Hydrobase or the bottom of the Atlantic, that is...

Issues # 71 and 72 marked the end of the Macchio/Gruenwald cooperation, but they left on a high note by resolving the plight of doctor Henry Croft and the other Hydro-Men from back in issue # 64. Mr. Fantastic and the Inhumans finally managed to confirm that their mutation into amphibians was indeed caused by the sacred Terrigen mists.

"It's an airquake"

... An air...quake? Ah, only in Attilan. 

Yes, this was before John Byrne took over the main Fantastic Four title and had the Inhumans relocate to the Blue Area of the Moon. Attilan was still on Earth, nestled somewhere in the Himalayan mountains. Here, Mr. Fantastic and the Inhuman scientists succesfully crafted a cure that restored Croft to normal.

This gas was basically an anti-Terrigen potion, which potentially made it very dangerous to the Inhumans should it ever fall in the wrong hands...

Meet the wrong pair of hands...

Phobius, Helio and Gronk, in their first appearance, were sent by their shadowy master Maelstrom to... procure... a sample of the anti-Terrigen compound. Helio, incidentally, was the one responsible for creatin those pesky airquakes.

They made their move when Ben and the others were on Hydrobase to cure the 500+ Hydro-Men, Women & Children. Maelstrom's Minions attempted a quick smash 'n grab, but weren unable to escape with their prize, getting overpowered and taken prisoner by Ben, Karnak and Gorgon. The cannister seemed lost at sea...

Until it grew fins and swam off.

"And when Attilan falls, the world itself shall soon learn the might of Maelstrom!"

So, just who is Maelstrom?

Well, as issue # 72 revealed, he's about the Kirbiest Kirby character without Jack Kirby's actual involvement.

• He is the son of an Inhuman father and a Deviant mother (both races created by Kirby).
• He is surrounded by a permanent 'plume of bioluminescence' (basically Kirby crackle)
• He is into wearing pointless, crazy looking headgear (like the ones uncle Jack loved to draw)
• And then there's this guy...

Meet Deathurge, another of Maelstrom's associates. Whenever he appears, someone is about to die... Mainly because he's the one doing the killing. Maelstrom sent him to Hydrobase to end the lives of Phobos, Helio and Gronk before they could be interrogated. Basically, he's a thinly disguised Black Racer clone from Kirby's early 70s DC magnum opus New Gods.

"Now I mount my skis... and ride the night!"

Some people find Kirby's scripting clunky, unpolished and silly... But how can one not love lines like that? The man's writing shared the same explosive, high octane 'what the heck?' factor as his art. It's poetry, really. Oh, wait... We're still doing Marvel Two In One, right?

Having his minions killed, didn't prevent Maelstrom from getting discovered. His hiding place was a bit obvious after all... the undersea caverns beneath Attilan's former location in the Atlantic ocean. There, the master geneticist had discovered minute trace particles of Terrigen mist that he cultivated and used in his experiments... and even sold to Doctor Hydro, the creator of the Hydro-Men.

Maelstrom wanted to use the anti-Terrigen gas to destroy Attilan to avenge the fate that befell his father Phaeder. He'll tell you himself...

Banishing an immoral geneticist from a society that ritually exposes perfectly healthy children to mists that cause wildly unpredictable, deforming and sometimes lethal mutations? Yeah... That makes sense. 

Incidentally, the name 'Phaeder' may sound fancy and Inhuman, but it's either pronounced 'Fader' or 'vader', which is Dutch for 'father'... So, in true Marvel tradition, the man's name is a bit on the nose. It's also the reason why Dutch audiences weren't all that surprised when Darth Vader was revealed to be Luke's, well, vader... at the end of The Empire Strikes Back... Heck, he'd been called that for close to two movies at that point.

Getting back to the story... Right before he recounted his own origin to the ailing Phaeder, Maelstrom had used his defense systems to knock out Ben, Karnak and Gorgon who thought they had entered the base undetected. He had them all chained up and ready for genetic experimentation and vivisection when Black Bolt showed up to save the day. 

"Hey you guys... Don't ask me how, but the three stooges are back"

While Black Bolt took on the Kirby Cracklin' Crazy, Ben and the other Inhumans had to fight Helio, Phobos and Gronk again. Or, rather, their clones. Just like Mister Sinister would clone his Marauders after they died, Maelstrom had pre-made sets of his minions ready to go. 

"While I know your every strength and weakness, you know nothing of mine!"

Sheesh, he's not kidding...

"Black Bolt... I heard what that creep said, you gotta go after that rocket!
I can handle high britches here!"

Brave words Ben, but what you're best at is hitting stuff... and kinetic energy only makes Maelstrom stronger. Still, he gave it the old college try while the king of the Inhumans flew to intercept the rocket, only managing to disarm the device mere moments before it reached Attilan.

Meanwhile, Maelstrom was knocking the stuffing out of the Thing... Until Ben finally started to use his head to defeat the villain. Well, technically, he was thrown head first into the tubes that contained the anti-Terrigen concoction, but still...

"Here's mud in yer eye, Mally!"

Conveniently enough, the formula used to cure the Hydro-Men also affected Inhumans ánd Deviant-Inhuman hybrids like Maelstrom. Robbed of his powers and aware Black Bolt stopped the missile, he beged his father's forgiveness before ordering Deathurge to kill him. As his body turned black, his father quietly died as well. In the end, Gorgon used his mighty hooves to bring the base down around them...

 "By the time the escaping mini-sub reaches the mainland, all is still beneath the waves once more. Still and dark and peaceful... Like a tomb."

And with that, the Gruenwald/Macchio collaboration on Marvel Two In One officially ended. Mark Gruenwald would write issues # 73 and # 74 that saw Ben team up with Quasar and fight the Puppet Master who had turned evil despite his change of heart back in # 60. While certainly entertaining, these tales would prove inconsequential to the greater whole of the Macchio/Gruenwald cooperation.

After making their debut on the title with the well loved Project: Pegasus saga, they wrote a year's worth of stories that, while certainly not as well known as their initial outing, were every bit as grounded in and inspired by the rich tapestry of the Marvel universe.

What's even more interesting: Macchio and Gruenwald continued the trend established in their first storyline. Marvel Two In One didn't rely on any 'stunt casting'. No popular heroes with their own titles stopped by as a gimmick to prop up sales. Who we got were types like Thundra, Moondragon, Hyperion, the Guardians of the Galaxy, even a rechristened Paragon...

Yet, picking these virtual unknowns allowed the duo to tell stories that really had lasting impact on the Marvel universe. Take their first post Pegasus arc: it introduced Her in # 61, brought the High Evolutionary back to life, revealed the existence of the Beyonders ánd gave Counter Earth a proper send off in # 63... In other words, Macchio and Gruenwald used Marvel Two In One to really play with the many proverbial toys in the publisher's sandbox, without fear of having to put them all back.

But Gruenwald and Macchio also seemed to have a distinct purpose in mind for picking these specific characters. They weren't 'just' there to fill 22 pages with loud colors and even more colorful fight scenes, their tales were intended to tell personal stories and resolve whatever dangling plots from other books they felt needed adressing...

This notion resulted in the Serpent Crown trilogy, issues # 64 through 66, which was based on two danglers: whatever happened to the alternate Earth Serpent Crown after Vision tossed it into the ocean in Avengers # 154 and the fate of Dr. Hydro's accomplices the Hydro-Men, from Sub-Mariner # 63. Using plotholes to create new tales is the mark of a true storyteller.

'Orphaned' characters like Thundra were lovingly taken in, fleshed out and eventually given a worthy send off. It was the first time the Femizonian had a proper character arc, and one that felt organic to the character and their established history. And, to a lesser degree, so did sending the Guardians of the Galaxy back to the future where they belong. 

Even back in 1980, it was obvious comics were cyclical in nature and any major changes would ever be permanent. When Gruenwald and Macchio broke up Ben and Alicia, no one was convinced it would last. But at least the duo tried to make it interesting by having Ben break up with her out of fear for Alicia's safety. That's a very different and far less self pitying reason than his usual "you only love the Thing... Not Ben. And if you could see me, you'd leave me'.

So that's Marvel Two In One during the time two of Marvel's mainstays wrote it. Mark Gruenwald went on to write classic runs on comics like Captain America, the Squadron Supreme and Quasar, often using characters from his Two In One days. Gruenwald died in 1996 from undiagnosed congenital heart disease.Ralph Macchio mainly worked as an (executive) editor until his retirement from comics in March 2011.

What they leave behind is a body of work that, certainly in the case of Marvel Two In One, is enjoyable... to the Nth degree.

1980: Marvel's Two Writing One Part VI: The Thing With Movin' In & Out...

By Jef Willemsen (Clarmindcontrol.blogspot.com)

In the sixth chapter of Marvel's Two Writing One, Ralph Macchio and Mark Gruenwald start to bring their early 80s collaboration on the Thing team up book to a close by giving the Guardians of the Galaxy a proper send off, reuniting Ben and Alicia while also setting up a future Avenger...

 " I wuz hopin' maybe you could help me figger out what ta do!"

Issue #69 opened with Ben still troubled by his break up with Alicia. And to think he himself ended the his relationship with the blind sculptress because he was worried for her safety, soon realising he was actually feeling more miserable without her. Unfortunately, when he went to her appartment to patch things up, he saw her leave with another man.

Demoralised, it took his FF teammate the Invisible Woman to convince Ben to give it another shot. But that's a story for # 70, because seconds after this nugget of wisdom ánd breakfast was served, Starhawk of the Guardians of the Galaxy beamed into the FF's kitchen looking for help...

"Were the two counterparts to meet, it would cause untold damage to the course of time
creating a catastrophe!"

How to explain the Guardians of the Galaxy? Well, first introduced in 1969, this team of 31 century space heroes fought menaces like the galaxy conquering Badoon. The team eventually travelled back to the 20th century in pursuit of their cybernetic archenemy Korvac. Together with the Avengers, they eventually tracked down and defeated him. That was back in 1978, you'd think they'd have left the next day... But by the time this story appeared it was almost 1981 and they were still here!

Fair's fair, they actually were about to return home... when one of their own went missing. Major Victory, better known as Vance Astro, went AWOL so he could have a little chat with Vance Astrovik, his younger self. Victory hoped to convince the teenager he shouldn't join NASA, otherwise history would repeat itself and he'd end up going mad in space for a 1000 years before the Guardians found him.

Sage career advice, but a meeting between the two was sure to rip apart the space time continuum, right? Well, surely, Victory wouldn't be so foolish to even look up his younger self. Let alone touch him...

"Hey, stop that mister... you're hurting me!"

... Or maybe not.

Yet, in spite of the Guardians' predictions, the universe didn't blow up. What actually happened was the sudden appearance of a massive, dense black fog that covered the area and brought out most of the New York based heroes, from the X-men to Spider-Man and the Avengers. Even the Fantastic Four joined Ben and the Guardians in their quest for clarity (literally).

In the end, the Guardians managed to find Major Victory and seperate him from young Vance Astro. But that didn't exactly solve the problem...

"I may be the catalyst, but I'm not the cause"

Long story short... Major Victory developed his powers over the millennium he spent in deep space isolation. Yet, somehow, his younger self triggered similar abilities during their meeting in Saugerties. Young Vance's uncontrolled telekinetic abilites caused the dark clouds and once he learned to control them, the threat was over.

The Guardians finally returned to the 31st century and Major Victory was pleased to know that while his own past wasn't changed, at least this younger version of himself would be spared the centuries long, maddening exile. And he was right, Vance Astrovik would grow up to become the New Warrior and Avenger known as Marvel Boy and Justice.

As promised, Marvel Two In One # 70 at last dealt with the break up between Ben and Alicia set in motion back in issue # 64. When Ben finally gathered enough courage to go up to Alicia's place again to plead his case, he was pleasantly surprised...

 "Baby, I want ya to move inta the Baxter Building."

Yeah, turns out Alicia wasn't out on a date with a potential suitor, she was just meeting her business manager. But Ben was too blind to see that, pun intended. Don't let the art fool ya, it only looks as if Ben's gone evil and is about to crush poor Alicia's skull... He's actually overjoyed and he wants to move in with her... at the Baxter Building. The one place all the FF's villains take turns trying to invade..

Sheesh Ben, if you broke up with the girl because you were afraid for her safety, why not move in with hér? But that bit of logic even seems lost on Reed who claims his latest security upgrades made the Baxter Building the safest place in the entire city. So, without furter ado...

"Welcome to the Fantastic Four!"

Safest place in the entire city my foot...

The rest of the issue deals with the big move and the villainy of Shellshot and Lariat, two half forgotten FF villains who got their super powered whip and gun from the Psycho Man. These low rent thugs figured a truck full of Alicia's sculptures would earn them big money on the black market. That's why they disguise themselves as employees of the moving company, load their truck and take off with the statues.

As soon as they drive off, Ben realises something is fishy and went after them. However, the two villains actually manage to almost knock out the Thing... If not for the timely intervention of the Yancy Street Gang. After all, no one is allowed to mock and humiliate Ben Grimm... except for them. A point they emphasize in the final panels of the issue when the recovered truck takes off for the Baxter Building...

"Looks like deep down they must'a realized what a great guy I am."

By the by, nothing ever came of Alicia moving into the Baxter Building. The Fantastic Four title never made any mention of Alicia's alleged presence. In fact, regular FF writer Doug Moench wrote several stories which had Alicia in her own place.

And they said continuity died in the mid 2000s...

Next, in the seventh and final chapter (promise!) it's the return of the Hydro-Men and the menace of Maelstrom in Marvel's Two Writing One: The Kirby Crackle Conclusion.  

1980: Marvel's Two Writing One part V: Toadies, Tiaras and Thundras... Oh my!

By Jef Willemsen (clarmindcontrol.blogspot.com)

In the fifth part of Marvel's Two Writing One, the writing duo of Mark Gruenwald and Ralph Macchio decide to shake things up by doing several oneshots that wrapped up a number of long running threads. This resulted in stories featuring Thundra, the Angel, Hyperion and the Toad... Y'know, certified sales boosters.

"My name is Thundra, Sandman... not "crazy dame!"

Full disclosure: I love Thundra.

Don't ask me why, but I've been fascinated by this 23rd century alternate Earth uberfeminist ever since I first saw her in the pages of Fantastic Four # 148. For a character that hasn't appeared in more than 50 comics ever since her introduction back in 1972, Thundra's appeal has proven remarkably lasting. Heck, I cheered when she of all possible characters got introduced in the free Avengers Alliance game on Facebook.

But wait a minute... A tiara wearing, super powered princess from a world where women rule... using her durable, metal chain as her weapon of choice... That certainly has a familiar ring to it, now doesn't it?

Remind you of anyone?

Gruenwald and Macchio seemed to share this affection for Thundra and gave her a meaty role in their Marvel Two In One run. Their take on the character was a tragic one: she felt alone and adrift in this world, longing for the Thing's love but getting spurned by Ben at every turn. She lacked a purpose in life, and that's when she was contacted by the mysterious Nth Command. This shadowy cabal of business men promised Thundra a gift that would mean the world to her, if she helped destroy Project Pegasus during the appropriately titled Project Pegasus saga

In the end, Thundra sided with Ben and the others in defeating the Nth Man, but there was still the matter of the Nth Command and just what they promised Thundra. That was resolved in # 67.

Why, yes, that is Hyperion next to Thundra. Or, rather, *a* Hyperion. The history of this alternate reality Superman analogue is complicated at best. Suffice to say, he was recruited by the Nth Command to bring Thundra back so she could get her reward.

"I have been informed that you have a device which can return me to the alternate Earth that is my home."

Ah, so thát's what they meant with 'a gift that means the world'. Using the Nth projector, Thundra would be able to return to her home dimension. One has to wonder if the projector can also transport people through time, considering Thundra hails from three centuries in the future. 

But let's not get too nitpicky, it's commendable enough that Gruenwald and Macchio went through the effort to pick established characters. It would have been far easier to just come up with new ones, but they choose bespectacled business man Albert DeVoor, a Fantastic Four character involved with travelling to alternate realities... And the tiny scienitist is Abner Doolittle, better known as Brother Wonderful of the Night People, from Jack Kirby's seminal Captain America run.

Still, the story is a little odd. The Nth Command offers Thundra a trip home, free of charge. They're not making any demands or 'one final mission and you can go...' cliches. They even prove to her the process is safe when Doolittle uses the projector to pop into her dimension.

Yet, she grabs the device and attempts to take off with it, shooting everyone who stands in her way to lord knows where... Doesn't work on Hyperion, though.

"I'm faster than a speeding bullet!"

Careful there Hypes, you're dangerously close to committing a... super... case of copyright violation. 

The fight between Hyperion and Thundra eventually moves to the streets of New York, where... wouldn't ya know it... Ben Grimm just happened to walk by. But the Thing was in no mood for a fight. Back in issue # 64 he had broken up with his longtime girlfriend Alicia Masters because he feared for her safety. Realising what a fool he was, Ben went to her appartment to make up, just in time to see this:

"It's Alicia... But who's that guy with her? They're doin' a lotta laughing' an' lookin' at one another, real friendly"

Lookin' at one another? ... Erm, Ben, she's blind, remember? Still, let's get back to the fighting. While Ben does his best to hold off the vastly more powerful Hyperion, the Nth Command has sent some flunkies with high tech weapons to stop Thundra from escaping with the Nth Projector. It's an invaluable piece of equipment that should not be damaged in any way.

That's why they do this...

"Instantly, thousands of volts course through the grav-mesh, forcing the struggling Thundra helplessly to the pavement"

Yeah... thousands of volts usually tend to fry my equipment, though. Not to mention the amount of artificial gravity generated necessary to hold a super powered Femizonian down would be enough to crush any device. 

Ignoring that pesky bit of logic, the issue ends with Hyperion admitting he has feelings for Thundra, who is a little too busy setting up the Nth Projector to return her home... But not before saying goodbye to her unrequieted love.

"She's gone! I had my chance an' I passed it up. She slipped away, an' I just stood here and watched."

Sheesh, Ben... way to make it all about you. So you've lost two women in one day. Plenty of fish in the sea, right? That's why issue # 68 started with the Human Torch dragging Ben to a disco. After all, what better way to enjoy your newfound single status. Heck, Ben even showed up wearing a John Travolta Saturday Night Fever inspired outfit...

Only to feel sorry for himself once again and leave the dancefloor to get a drink at the bar. There, he ran into Warren Worthingon, better known as this issue's guest star: the high flying Angel.

"Mission has gone as programmed, master"

Warren and Ben get gassed and wake up in, as the cover blurb claimed, the dungeon of doom. Actually, that's not entirely inaccurate: the heroes were taken to the replica of Doctor Doom's Latverian castle the villain had built in the Adirondacks a few years ago. 

"You two have been brought here to play a game for the master's amusement. The game is somple: all you have to do is escape from this castle alive!"

But it wasn't Doom they were facing in this story that seems to have inspired slasher movie franchises like Hostel and Saw. Or even Arcade, who was already well known for toying with his victims before their inevitable termination. No, after smashing through weird traps, Thing and Angel finally came face to face with the big bad... Toad?

"The terrible Toad-King!"

After leaving the original Brotherhood of Evil Mutants where Magneto treated him like a joke, the Toad had been trying to prove himself as a man ánd a supervillain. He used the powers of the Stranger a while back in Avengers # 137, rechristening himself 'the Toad King' (that never stuck) and now was ready to make it big in the assassination business.

He had purchased all this equipment from a certain 'Mr. A' (for Arcade, obviously) who also helped him install everything... like those iron toadstools and the robot Scarlet Witch he had for a companion. Nah, that's not creepy at all.

Toad tried to kill Angel and Thing with all the gadgets he had equipped his mechanical swamp with... and he almost succeeded too, if not for one little telephone call.

"Uh, yes? But... you can't. I need time! You promised...! Hello...?"

Poor Mortimer, his financial backer Mister A wanted to get paid for services rendered... But Toad didn't have a proverbial pot to piss in, that's why he did the one thing a supervillain is never supposed to do... Cry. A lot.

"I've never been able to kill anyone, not even those who deserved it. I'm just a failure..."

Releasing his superhero captives, Toad is ready to give up... But the ever clever Angel had a great idea: you have a medieval style castle loaded with tons of robots and other animatronic figures, surrounded by pristine real estate... Why not make like Disney and open an amusement park?

No sooner said than done...

However, Toadland didn't exactly last very long. In May of 1981, the X-men fought Doctor Doom and Arcade there in Uncanny X-men # 145, while in November of that same year John Byrne had the FF taken there for their classic Liddleville simulation in Fantastic Four # 234's Terror In A Tiny Town.

From amusement park to existential death trap... Guess Walt Disney was right: "It's a small world after all..."

In part VI of Marvel's Two Writing One: The Guardians of the Galaxy, Mr. Fantastic and those other two...

1980: Marvel's Two Writing One part IV: Heavy Is The Snake Head That Wears The Crown

By Jef Willemsen (clarmindcontrol.blogspot.com)

One of Marvel's biggest 80s events has to be 1989's company wide crossover Atlantis Attacks, in which the elder god Set tried to take over the Earth. As we'll discover in today's entry, a  big part of the foundation for that massive storyline was laid by Ralph Macchio and Mark Gruenwald in the pages of Marvel Two In One. 

"Thus begins The Serpent Crown Affair"

And it sure proved an affair worth to remember... Mostly because Gruenwald and Macchio stuffed the three part Serpent Crown Affair with about as many references to old comics this side of Sligguth and Damballah. Which, to be fair, was Business as usual to them, really.

The saga started with a distraught Ben Grimm in the opening pages of # 64. He just couldn't understand why longtime girlfriend Alicia Masters had angrily slammed the door in his face when he lovingly told her it might be better if they split up, cos life without him would be a lot safer for her.

Ben wandered back to the Baxter building, eager to analyse his latest romantic misadventure with Mr. Fantastic. But before the two old friends could sit down to discuss womenfolk, they were interrupted by the arrival of doctor Walter Newell, oceanographer and parttime superhero.

And he brought company...

"He appears to be amphibian! But how?"

A fair question, but one that warrants a long backstory: doctor Croft was one of the folks unlucky enough to fall prey to the schemes of mad scientist Lemuel Dorcas. He had mutated Croft and several others into his 'Hydro-Men', an amphibian army designed to do his bidding. Namor and Stingray put a stop to this particular scheme, but Dorcas died before he was able to reveal the way to turn the Hydro-Men back to normal.

That's why Croft partnered with Walter 'Stingray' Newell, in hopes of finding a way of counteracting the effects of Dorcas' genetic handiwork. During their research, they made a startling discovery...

Yeahhh... guess Croft and the other Hydro-Men actually do look a lot like the aquatic Inhuman Triton. But just how is this possible? Triton's mutation is caused by the Inhuman's closely guarded Terrigen crystals, something Dorcas couldn't have had access to.

Figuring out the best way to resolve this mystery was to actually call the Inhumans, Mr. Fantastic arranged for a meeting between Triton, Stingray and Croft somewhere off the coast of California. Ben was sent along to pilot the FF's plane. 

But once they reached the coast, Stingray spotted an offshore Roxxon oil rig on a location known to be without any exploitable fossil fuel deposits. Curious and early for the meeting with Triton, the heroes decide to check the rig out, just as it got rocked by an explosion.

While Ben boarded the rig and was assaulted by some very unfriendly Roxxon Oil employees, Stingray checked out the damage and ran headlong into the folks responsible for the attack.

"Well, I'm in no mood to try undersea sign language... So I'll give them a message they're sure to understand... courtesy of my electro-blasts!"

You gotta love that classic Silver Age exposition... Having Stingray talk to himself, explaining what everyone can obviously figure out just by looking at Perez's pictures. They sure don't write em like this anymore.

But while Stingray was able to deal with the scuba diving henchmen, he proved no match for the real villains of the piece... Who knocked him out of the water, and straight back on to the rig before revealing themselves:

"Surrender... or face the full, unfettered fury of the deadly new Serpent Squad!"

Ahh, the Serpent Squad! Here's where Mark Gruenwald's affection for Sidewinder and his rabble of reptile based villains really started. They'd later feature heavily in his Captain America run, eventually even evolving into the Serpent Society, Marvel's first supervillain union of sorts. 

But, as the story in Marvel Two In One # 65 pointed out, they were here to retrieve something. And they were more than willing to tear through Ben and Stingray to get it.

"Either I do what you say... or else".

Sidewinder was already the shrewd business type. He simply forced Ben to surrender, tied him to the rapidly sinking oil rig and left him there to drown along with the still unconscious Stingray. Luckily, they had help.

"As a scientist, I should be able to master these controls and send forth the proper distress signal".

Three cheers for doctor Henry Croft, the (Hydro)-man who had to remind himself that he's a scientist before using the radio to signal for help. Help indeed was on the way, but since the Thing'ss still the star of the book, he was able to free himself and Stingray just in the nick of time. Resurfacing near Croft and the Pogo plane, they were met by the (Inhu)man they came out to see.

"Serpent crown! My old friend the Sub-Mariner once spoke of it!
According to Namor, it's one of the most powerful objects on Earth.

Thanks to Triton's timely and not at all unnatural sounding comments, everyone was now aware of what the Serpent Squad was after. Speaking of which... the villains were already hard at work at the bottom of the sea, digging up the artifact.

"I've found it!"

Gee, that didn't take long at all. In today's decompressed style comics, looking for the crown alone would have taken at least an issue. Not to mention the fight between the serpents and the sea faring heroes. In the end, Sidewinder teleported his squad and the crown to safety and dropped a depth charge to cover their escape.

Fortunately, it takes more than a little 'splosion to kill off the Thing and company.

"We blew it big this time, guys. And if that doodad he's carryin' has half the power Triton says... then I got a hunch the world's gonna pay fer this little disaster.

How's that for a dramatic cliffhanger?

Ben's ominous words led to issue # 66 and the resolution of the three part Serpent Crown Affair. After the Serpent Squad bolted, they had no idea how to track them or the crown. That's why Ben radioed the Baxter building, hoping Reed had any bright ideas. However, the help answered.

"The witch would be of much greater help to you than your comrades. I shall contact her for you."

Well, Agatha 'Bea Arthur' Harkness sure doesn't waste time, does she? But her idea was indeed a clever one. Y'see, the Scarlet Witch was actually in part responsible for how the Serpent Crown ended up on the ocean floor in the first place.

The crown isn't of this Earth. It's native to the Squadron Supreme's home dimension, where it corrupted the US president and the Squadron alike. After the Avengers travelled to their world to sort that mess out, Wanda brought the crown back with her.

But after the Living Laser got a hold of it, wounded her and nearly beat the team, the Vision decided in Avengers # 154, it would be for the best if just took the darn thing and tossed it into the Pacific. That way, no one could their hands on it ever again.

... That is, if you ignore the fact the bottom of the ocean is home to at least half a dozen war hungry waterbreathers... Like Attuma. Let alone the existence of submarines, like the one rapidly approaching Vision's position. Guess his android brain must have been on the fritz that day. 

Long story short... Agatha contacted Wanda, who used her mystical connection to the Serpent Crown to learn its current location: Washington DC. Ben and the others agreed to meet her there, right in time for the final showdown.

But just who ordered the Serpent Squad to attack the Roxxon oil rig and find the Serpent Crown?

"I am Hugh Jones, high apostle of the serpent lord Set... and chosen crown-bearer"

And also Hugh Jones, president of the Roxxon oil company. So for those of you keeping score: he paid mercenaries to blow up one of his multimillion dollar rigs that wasn't drilling for oil but actually looking for the crown too? Yeah... that makes a lotta sense.

At least his actual scheme was well thought out.

"I have permitted you to come this far so that I could make you my personal thralls."

And so he did. While Thing and Stingray were busy fighting the ghosts of crown bearers past, Wanda tried a clever ruse... By pretending to freely offer herself to Set and Jones, she hoped to wrest the crown from his head. But 'father Set' had already touched her mind and was privy to her plan. Jones forcibly tried to bend the Witch to his will, which led to a truly gorgeous two page spread by Jerry Bingham and Gene Day.

Despite her valiant effort, the Scarlet Witch was no match for the age old might of not one, but two Serpent Crowns. She was about to succumb, when Thing intervened and attacked Jones. Even being reverted to his human form didn't stop Ben from trying to yank off the crown... And effort is ultimately rewarded...

"Oh, for cryin' out loud! It's still alive! Attachin' itself ta my noggin'!"

A potentially disastrous scenario was about to unfold: how does one stop a Serpent Crown host who for all intents and purposes is pretty much invulnerable? Thank heavens Set had nothing on aunt Petunia's favorite nephew...

"The politicians are startin' ta wake up... and I don't even want 'em lookin' side-ways at the crown... 'specially during an election year.'

Smart thinking, Ben... We wouldn't want Ronald Reagan, winner of the 1980 presidential election, to fall under any... serpentine influences, now would we?

Mark Gruenwald has 'the Captain' fight 'Snake Reagan' in 1988's Captain America # 344

All kidding aside...After overcoming the Serpent Crown's influence, Thing handed the malignant artifact over to Project Pegasus. Where it would cause trouble again, as seen two years down the road in the Gruenwald penned Marvel Team Up Annual # 5. But that's a story for another day.

As is the question whatever happened to Henry 'Hydro-Man' Kroft. Triton made sure the good doctor did indeed reach the Inhumans, but we won't learn his final fate until # 71. Instead, part V of Marvel's Two Writing One will focus on several done-in-one issues, featuring such fan favorites as the Toad, Thundra and Angel...